Inakamono

JKF Ehime Karate Championships

Today I competed in the Japan Karate Federation Ehime Championships for the first time in 6 years. Back in 1999 I entered the individual kumite and won my first few fights, eventually being stopped by a tall Wado-ryu stylist whose powerful jab punch rocked my helmet-protected head numerous times. The following year the Federation rules apparently changed - only Japanese nationals were allowed to enter - something about the possibility of a gaijin winning through to the nationals and possibly the All-Japan titles. This year my sensei rang me and asked me to go in the team event - teams can't go on to the nationals so there is no nationality restriction.

I had to wait around all day, which meant I had the chance to familiarise myself with the new scoring system. My dojo's tournament style is ippon-shobu - a one point contest, so a match is decided by two half points or one awesome full-point techique, like a kick to the head. Under JKF rules a match is 8 points - 1 point for a normal punch, 2 points for a kick and 3 points for a really decent technique like a head kick or a takedown followed by a punch. Matches take longer, but there is more variety of technique. I saw the lanky Wado-ryu guy. At age 50 he was still competing, and still hitting people's helmets with enough forced to blood noses. He took 3rd in the kumite.

The team events started late in the afternoon. Four teams - Shotokai (me), Wado-ryu, Goju-ryu and Shito-ryu. We beat the Shito-ryu team and faced the Goju guys for the final. My team was older in the tooth, with ages of 32, 33, 35, 36 and 39. The Goju teams was made up of uni students - 21 or thereabouts. We had experience but they were young and fit. And very fast. Too fast for us. In my match my lack of recent training was obvious and I was beaten to the punch nearly every time (I got one reverse punch in). I kicked the guy fair and square in the face earlier on the match, and should have received 3 points for it but perhaps the refs weren't used to face level front kicks - the technique was ignored. At one point we scuffled and I placed a knee kick to the abdomen, only to hear mass disapproval from the crowd and a warning from the ref. The Goju guy took the honours, 8-1, and deservedly so - I fought like crap. We came second.

I talked to one of the sensei later on about the front kick. "I can't really comment on another ref's decision.....but I would have scored it..." And the knee? "That's prohibited under JKF rules"

Hmm. Back home I checked the web. Unlike 5 years ago, under World Karate Federation rules knee techniques are now prohibited. Perhaps I should have done my homework....

My bizarre date story

I just got back from a date and I have to write about it.

I drove to Matsuyama to go to karate, and afterwards I met up with K for dinner. K and I are friends but a month ago we had a party snog, and then a week ago following an evening out on the town we said goodnight with further passionate tonsil boxing. Tonight we were both exhausted - me through lack of sleep and the exertions of long overdue appearance at the dojo, and K because of a long day at work - but despite this we enjoyed a fantastic meal snug in our private room on the second floor of a favourite Japanese restaurant of mine. Afterwards I suggested a walk to keep us awake and we drove to a nearby beach where we strolled along the sand and then along a seawall, the gentle sound sound of waves providing the perfect background music. We walked back to my car hand in hand and just before we reached my car I did the "lean in". There was brief lip-to-lip contact, then K broke apart and said "Let's go!". Puzzled I got in the car and said "Sorry - did I miss something?"
"Well, we're not drinking"
"Oh...we can only kiss when we drink?"
"Well when I drink I get a bit lonely, you know...."
"And when we don't drink ....."
"It's different...."
I drove, absorbing this.
"So when we kissed at my place.."
"Well you wanted to kiss me"
"Yeah, but you were the one who leaned in and gave the 'It's OK to kiss me' look"
"I didn't mean to...that wasn't my intention"
"Come on! I know that look! You certainly didn't pull away and say "Oh - that's not what what I meant!"
"Well we were already kissing by that stage..."
"Ahh...so you didn't actually want to kiss me, it was more like just letting me kiss you"
"Hmmmm..kinda"
"And last week"
"Same thing"
"So you never actually thought 'Gee I'd like to snog Will'"
"Not really"
Small crushing blow to the ego, but again, I was rabbit-in-the-headlights transfixed, and wanted to work out what exactly the deal was.
"Well generally I'd prefer to kiss someone whose actively wants to kiss me, otherwise I might as well kiss the back of my hand"
"Mmmmm"
"So I guess next time we meet up we should go for drinks
"I guess"
"Ok, I guess I'll see you later"
"Goodnight"

Probably the most bizarre date I have ever been on.

Densha Otoko

Tonight was the bonus episode of Densha Otoko, the TV drama spawned from a tale originating on Japanese mega-BBS 2ch ("ni-chaneru") about a geek who rescues an OL (office lady) from a drunk on a train and then tries to win her heart with the advice of his fellow BBS users. I loved the first 11 episodes, not least because the OL, Hermes, is played by stunner Ito Misaki. My lusting hit a small speedhump when the IT guy in my division emailed me a couple of links today. One amusing item about talento Hard Gay's lumbago, brought about by excessive hip thrusting, and then the devasting news that Ito Misaki is dating a singer called Issa, of Da Pump fame, who according to the article has bedded most of the best looking Japanese actresses in the 25-35 age bracket (he is 26). And who can blame him - we all would if we could.

The "second finale" provided a backstory to some of the events left unexplained in the first 11 episodes, set up two new couples and right at the end left us with the tantalising scene of Yamada, the Densha Otoko himself, off on an onsen dirty weekend with Hermes who seemed keen not to bathe alone.

Not as good as the rest of the series but packing a number of chuckles and a few heart-warming confessions of love, which always leave me feeling like I should give my cynicism a rest, cut out the crap and beating-around-the-bush and tell the next person that I fancy that I in fact fancy them.

But I live in the non-TV world, so to balance the odds before I make any such confessions I will make sure we have both had a few drinks.

Mobile phone dictionary fun

I had coffee with a friend of mine this afternoon and I was explaining the business arrangement of a mutual acquaintance but I forgot the word for "partner" in the business sense, so I whipped out my mobile and accessed Jim Breen's E-J dictionary-server. I typed in "partner" and nearly fell off my chair when I saw the first term to appear on the screen: 顏射　(gansha) (You might want to read this entry to get the joke).

Study Motivation

It is stinking hot, and the last thing I want to do when I get home is study. It is hard enough staying awoke let alone concentrating and expending brainpower. The typical Japanese custom would be for me to knock back a beer while relaxing in front of the TV, but without a family to create noise I am likely to fall asleep and not awake until late evening. I crave the beer after work (if you ever experience the sultry heat of a Japanese summer you would understand this craving) but I know it will deal a killer blow to any chance of study. How to have my beer and study too? This is my solution - I have made the beer contingent on the study. 50 kanji equals one can of beer. Normally when studying kanji my mind can wander and I will stare out the window, shuffle papers etc, but with a beer as the prize for completion I have found new powers of concentration.

Adultery

A new guy has joined the planning division so tonight we had a little welcome party after work. It didn't take long for everyone to enter a cheery stage of inebriation and begin plying me with questions about matters sexual. The new guy asked me how many women I had had sex with. I told him, with a smile, that it was none of his business. Then somehow the topic turned to affairs. When I mentioned that in Australia adultery was simply grounds for divorce and not a crime in itself there was mild shock.
"You mean if you nob someone's wife you don't have to pay him money like you do in Japan?"
"Not unless the person can show some specific damage. Normally it would just mean that your marriage is over and you had the right to divorce your adultering spouse"
"Really? You don‘t have to pay isharyo (solatium)?"
"Nope"
"Nice country, Australia!"

Tokyo Conference

My presentations at the JET Re-Contracting Conference went swimmingly - full house both sessions. During the slang Japanese section I introduced a few words to be wary of and also asked for audience contributions. I was familiar with most of the expressions offered up but one guy yelled out "gancha" and I had no idea what it meant. I asked him to enlighten us. "It means a cumshot to the face" he explained.

I learn something every day.

Mexican

I think of Tokyo as a place where I can get any cuisine I want, and today I wanted Mexican. I met up with my Tokyo mates at El Torito, a Shinjuku restaurant nestled in the basement of the South Odakyu Tower. The place was packed, and at least 15 people were waiting outside. Ten minutes wait and we were in. The waitress plonked down corn chips and salsa and then came back for drink orders. As we were sorting out our margarita requirements the waitress confirmed the order by reaching across to point at the menu - apparently only some flavours were available in pitchers. What no-one else at our table saw was that as she tapped the menu with her forefinger her thumbed dipped into the salsa. I waited. Surely she would react. She did - by surreptitiously sliding her hand around to her back where she wiped it on her apron. We asked for, and got, new salsa.

Don't let this put you off El Torito. The food was fantastic, the portions, whilst not American-sized, were ample and the service (finger dipping aside) was prompt and friendly. Towards the end of the night as we bantered with a different waitress I mentioned that it was my friend Yeji's birthday. The waitress said "Really? Would you like to do the birthday thing?"
"Sure...what's involved?"
"We make a special dessert, play music, sing Happy Birthday and crap for you"

This I had to see.

She disappeared and rematerialised with a dessert icecream platter with "Yeji" spelled out in chocolate syrup. An older fellow (the owner?) came over, bringing a huge sombrero and took a commemorative Polaroid. We sang Happy Birthday and the waitstaff clapped their congratulations. Many pitchers and pictures later we finally left, the last patrons to do so.

So next time you are jonesing for Mexican food, head over to El Torito, especially if it's your birthday. And keep your eye on the waitresses.

I have a cat

I am the proud owner of a 6 week old kitten. He is fast, fearless and indestructible but cries when I go out of the room. I wanted to come up with a name which embraced his Japanese heritage whilst being accessible to the English speaking world. I came up with Tenpura. I thought this was rather cute until I told my Mum and she said "What, like in 'battered'?"

Back from Kobe

Just got home from the JET Programme 2004 Conference for Re-contracting JETs in Kobe. Highlights:
-meeting 80 year dude while people-watching in cafe, hearing about WWII firsthand and learning the Japanese for incendiary bomb
-finding a Thai restaurant (none here in Shikokuchuo)
-dinner at a Turkish restaurant called Murat where I drank beers called Pera and Efes and chatted with the owner
-scoring loads of Thai ingredients in Chinatown
-discovering at Gap that my arse is too big for the largest size of khaki pants they had in stock
- sitting outside at Nailey's Cafe watching the beautiful people of Kobe walk by as I demolished a huge pastrami sandwich
-meeting the immediately likeable Julian Ehrhardt, creator of JetsetJapan.com, and having a good natter